Loss

Feelings of loss can accompany any number of life experiences:  death of a family member or pet, loss of a job, chronic illness, aging, divorce, financial reversals to name a few.  Each carries its own weight; each carries its own degree of loss.  When my beloved black lab, Mia, was hit by a car and killed, I was devastated.  For days, all I could do was lay on the couch and cry.  Whenever I thought of all the ways Mia filled my life, I was struck down by another wave of grief.  It took months before I could walk through the woods we walked together.  During this same time, I was going through a difficult divorce, my children were growing up and leaving home.  I didn't know what I know now:  Mia's death, while heartbreaking, was symbolic of all the other loss I was feeling at the time and had felt throughout my lifetime.  One loss became all the other losses combined.  I survived Mia's death.  I survived my divorce.  I survived my children leaving home.  It was a long, painful process of acknowleding and then letting go of all the unfulfilled hopes and dreams that were attached to each of these parts of my life.  There is no right way to grieve.  There is no right time frame for grieving.  Each individual will experience their loss in a way and to a degree that is directly related to the level of attachment to the thing that is lost.  The important thing to remember is that grief is a natural and predictable part of life.  Painful as it may be, grief is a testament to all that matters in our life.  To have lost was to have loved.